The Guilt

My misdeeds and my crimes,

deprive me of the sleep of high primes.

My conscience throbs in the agony chimes.

So my soul suffocates,eventually sublimes.

Eyes loathe my shadow so bitter like Mediterranean limes,

and degradation and decay hasten with times.

The perfect body collapses with a thud,

with all my fame drowning in the lowly mud.

They slander me and call me a dud,

or on occasions I am an infected bud.

Thus I am chewed like a cud

and twisted endlessly till people make me blood.

Sanity and tranquility flee,

repentance and woe welcome me.

My whole life rests on rage’s tree,

burning my soul for everything I did to thee.

Stale memories sting me like a bee.

Remorse and regret are my only fee.

I am drowning in the ocean of sadness,

with none to rescue me from this madness.

My present plight lacks gladness,

I desperately yearn for a moment of happiness.

But the Nature shan’t give me forgiveness,

for my acts are beyond the ambit of badness.

Dark and dusted curtains surround my vision,

my intellect has ended in a fission.

My entire personality is a big lesion,

criticism is my everyday pension.

I am my beloved hatred’s denizen,

of a place fraught with tension.

I want to dagger the malice of my heart,

so there is nothing but eternity to start.

Condemnation is my life’s only alive part.

My demeanor is an imperfect art,

which is suggestive of a wart.

What am I to myself? Nothing but a dart.

I have committed things,

which now no one sings.

I want to escape my state with freedom wings.

I have created those dings,

which are irremovable by wrings,

lured by Nature’s kings.

Lamentation doesn’t soothe my soul,

as the devil has created a bottomless hole.

You can’t measure my pain with a pole.

There are blisters on my heart’s sole,

which can’t be treated with medicine sole.

I just seek forgiveness as my dole.

The Guilt has poisoned my brain,

vengeance had drenched me in the rain,

and so I committed the blunder in vain.

Now Guilt diseases every tissue in its reign,

and has rendered me as worthless as a grain.

The Guilt has murdered my brain!

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24 thoughts on “The Guilt

  1. Yes, guilt is such a disease which eats into the vitals of our system. It haunts us anytime anywhere. But one thing is sure, those who realize their guilt and resolve to undo the cause of that guilt and determine not to repeat, they are creams of our society. Alternatively, those commit something unethical still do not feel any guilt for doing so, are the ones who are not forgiven not only by humans but also by our Bhagwan.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First you must ask yourself is the guilt coming from within in the form of your own conscience and feelings on the matter(s) or is the guilt primarily coming from others in how they view things? You musn’t let others guide how you feel about yourself but let your own heart, mind, and soul be your guide. Oftentimes we are far too hard on ourselves and let others opinions weigh too heavily on us. You may have made some mistakes or did some things you are not proud of but don’t let your entire feelings of self-worth and views of yourself be based on that. You obviously have a talent and a thoughtful and reflective mind that alone proves you are much more than your mistake(s). I sense this has been weighing on you a long while and it may be time to let it go. Not forgotten as lessons are in it but not something that becomes a wound in your heart and soul that never heals. Don’t let these mistakes take from the world and people the talent and inspiration you have to offer. Don’t let it continue to take from your inner peace and discourage you. These are my suggestions that may help you. Our reflective minds while usually a gift can be a curse when we reflect too long on something. We all have our struggles that only we know fully about but those in the end can be turned into our strengths. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poetry and trusting others with this personal insight into what you have been going through. That takes a degree of bravery most do not have. Releasing your feelings into your writing helps you but it helps others even more. Keep writing if you are inspired to it will surely inspire others and in the end inspire you. I wish you find the peace and contentment you seek and gather all the inspiration you can to help you get there. Alan

    Liked by 1 person

    • I must salute you sir, because you have fathomed every word and its feeling very deeply, It clearly shows your talent and skills for Literature..I hope people get influenced and affected by my poem just as you have been Sir…It is more than an honor to be a follower of your blog….Thank you for reading my worthless poem….

      Liked by 1 person

      • Please call me Alan, thank you for your kind words. It is a poem of great worth written by someone who does not fully realize his own self worth. Your poetry and insight into life is exceptional especially for someone of your age.

        I wish I took up writing earlier instead of waiting to my late twenties. If you continue by the time your my age I little doubt you could be a published poet. I like reading poetry but never was much of a poet. I have trouble with making it flow nicely and sound poetic. Prose, essays, and editorials are where most of my writing ability is. I wish I had your gift of poetry as poetry like music can speak to a person’s heart and soul like literature never could. It is a valuable talent to have.

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      • Ok Alan..I would call you Alan..but truly you have a deep sense of literaure,your style is very descriptive and I think poetry is something which just flows, it needs time and space, and then it flows…I would love to go through your essays and prose works..yes you are right..I want to be a poet and author…Thank you Sir, sorry Alan for your kind words…May god always bless you..

        Liked by 1 person

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